simply lost
I can’t take this anymore..yesterday was just freaky! i know i end up saying that like every freaking day that something out of ordinary happens..i got so bloody high at a friends party and i ended up doing something i wouldn’t do if i was sober..fuck it..i feel like a horrid lil animal right now and added to that, i didn’t tell my parents that im going to a party and staying over and they seriously found out! im just in for SOME SCARY SHIT right now..My parents gone nuts…im just DONE with life..regrets regrets..i wounded my left foot yesterday too,added to all the shit and now i can barely walk..i just hate this drama..now my parents are going to throw their melodramatics into this shit pile! im sorry for being so whiny and uninteresting, but this has got to get out of my system..hope my parents are not planning anything for me or anything,i have promised enogh times that i won’t go anywhere without their permission..its just crazy! im just going mad..i just look at all of it and all i want to do is shut myself out and stay alone..its just annoying how my brain keeps saying things and mind going insane..
im never going to drink again…shit! i just loathe this…god im just lost! its crazy how after all the fun you end up siitting in your room alone feeling worse by the second..it is as if to say never have fun in life because the next day, you are just going to regret it…arghhhhhhhhhh! most of all, i just feel angry at my parents..if they had just allowed me to go, i wouldn’t even need to have lied..i just don’t understand what they call “protection” for god’s sake, i travel in the bus and encounter dirty old perverty men like everyday…although most of them are treated with my attitude and stares, it’s just that i hate all the staring..and feeling you up..gosh , the next @#$%*$@$%^&( is so going to go home with his balls down his throat.. im serious..
i was also deeply betrayed yesterday..i just can’t believe that i have been an absolute idiot..i thought i could judge people pretty well but turns out im very wrong.. things, will never quite be the same again, i believe.. im just protective towards someone and when that person gets hurt, its like real pain,you know…i just can’t decide what to do about it,that’s all..but…oh gosh! i know what im saying is pretty disorted and i am hardly getting any story across..im ust relieving myself, trying to think logically..but its impossible, when you feel like a spider caught in his own web..i just can’t decide whether to even give up or not..
screw it!
eh?